Relax. I suggest you just stop. And relax. Take a deep breath in, hold it and slowly breathe out. What did you expect when you began to have kids? That your patience was going to improve? That life was just about to get easier? When you were flaunting around the beach in that size 2 bikini on your honeymoon, gitty over having just been wed, daydreaming about what the future held for you and your new husband when you got back from that tropical island. Maybe children? Did you really think that you would be that mom that would never change post kids?
So you are off the beach, out of that size 2 bikini and sitting in your yoga pant Charlie Brown outfit telling your three year old for the 847th time to be gentle with her baby sisters. Why are you getting tense? Why are you getting loud? Honestly, what else would a three year old be doing? You had to know that she wasn’t going to be an infant, silently cooing at you and swatting at dolls while you busily tried to continue on a “normal” pre-baby life path. Babies don’t quiet down for “emergency” work conference calls.
Yes, things are different now that you had a baby. And yes, things are extra different now that you had twins. You have three kids. What were you thinking? Why are you letting your pre-baby skinny jeans ruin a moment of your day? Didn’t you realize the night you were chowing down on Velveeta macaroni and cheese and then a bag of Cheetos that yes, your hips were never going to be the same? Why ruin a moment with those precious twins getting pissed about your pre-baby skinny jeans. It’s not like you’ll ever put them on even if you fit in them. You wear yoga pants. Daily. And you have three kids. And you stay at home with them for a living. That is definitely not a recipe for nights out on the town in skinny jeans.
Why do you even bother letting a rush of pain go through you at 4am when you hear your three year old ask for chocolate milk through the wall. She has no idea that 4am is still time to sleep. Just tell her. Don’t get mad. Like I said, relax. What did you think?
Who cares about the balls of dust rolling past you on your wooden floors. Hold the phone. Let’s be honest here. There will always be rolling balls of dust. You were never very efficient at cleaning…
Anyways, I will make a promise to you. A promise that I want you to remember every moment you feel stressed. Anxious. Tired. Any moment you begin walking blindly through the days. In 25 years you will never look back and say how difficult 4pm was when everyone was crying. You will never say that your three year old can be such a brat sometimes when she doesn’t get her way. Wanting to slink out of the house to a far away place where people aren’t in the bathroom with you or opening your shower shade or constantly tugging at your legs will not be a thought that you reminisce over.
What will tug at your heart is when you wake up early one morning and remember the moments your babies would walk into your room to lay in bed and cuddle with you. You will remember that mini little voice saying, “Momma? You awake?” When you stop at a light in your car you will suddenly hear laughter coming from the back seat as your memory triggers the moments your three year old would tickle the twins and everyone would be keeled over in laughter. When you are going through the morning motions and jumping quickly into the shower to begin your day you’ll be side swiped by the memory of having two infants playing around on the bathroom floor. Suddenly the shower will feel extra lonely.
So when you wake up and begin putting your makeup on don’t get stressed that your three year old is touching every single item asking what it is and wanting to copy every little thing you do. Because you will be alone again in that bathroom. Putting on your makeup. Yearning for the days that two little babies were roaming the floor around you and sharing incredible moments with your three year old teaching her how to put on her makeup. Mascara kind of seems to have lost it’s magic without envious little paws trying to get at it.
Enjoy the days you have with these beautiful babies. It’s joyous chaos that is envied by those that no longer have it. So relax. I suggest you just stop. And relax. What you are doing right now are the memories you will be thriving off of in years to come. Be present. Be available. And cut up those damn jeans.
You, 25 years from now.