’Twas the night before Christmas shopping, hubby & I Googled online
the list of toys Old St. Nick would deliver while we sipped some wine
Some big gifts, most small
just enough to keep them busy til’ fall
The following morning I sprang from my bed
I got my four kids dressed and fed them some challah bread
Six fights and two outfit changes later, a missing glove and a missing shoe
I was hoping Elf on the Shelf was witnessing this too
We sprung to the minivan, tore open the sliding door
And what to my wondering eyes should appear,
but the missing glove that gave me grey hair
“Now, Presley! now, Ava! now, Mila! and Lenin! To school you go so I can make this Christmas legend!
And then in a twinkle, I landed in Target
Something snapped in me and I’ll tell you what started it
The prancing and pawing of parents like me
stirred something inside that sparked the crazy
I drew in my head and trashed my list
I filled up with glee and I cannot explain the rest
My eyes, how they twinkled while I went spending obsessed
I even included one or two maybe three treats for me, I must confess
Money who?! Money what!? It means nothing anymore
because these toys are actually coming from Santa’s workshop, isn’t that the folklore?
Smoke encircled my feet as I sped through the store
spending every last cent my husband worked for
I made my way home in spite of myself
and laid out the treasures that I purchased when I was apparently an Elf
The looks of what I had done gave me to know I had something to dread
As I did not go with my original plan but went rogue instead
I spoke not a word but fled back to the scene of the crime
I love Target really, but I did it this time
I went to return half of my blackout treasures, toys and findings
all so I did not have to go into hiding
I wrapped the remaining toys and turned with a jerk
my kids are damn lucky little Jews, I said with a smirk.
